How to be Angry Without Sinning
We all have hard-to-love or hard-to-deal-with types in our life. People who drive us crazy. One of the amazing things about these “crazy makers” in your life is how quickly they can flip you from being happy to angry in a split second. They know how to push your buttons.
Let me give you some facts about anger that I found out. The average woman loses her temper three times a week. The average man loses his temper six times a week. (Some of us may be above average). Women get angry more often at people; men get angry more often at things – computers, mechanical problems, things like that. The place you’re most likely to express anger is home, because we get angry more often, more intensely at those we love than strangers. That’s obvious.
Often the people who make you the most angry are those you love the most, because they have the greatest potential to hurt you or to offend you or to irritate you or to frustrate you.
I want you to know that anger is not always an inappropriate response. It’s not always wrong.
Anger is not Always Wrong – but Uncontrolled Anger is always Wrong.
In fact, there are many situations where anger is the only appropriate response. Actually, anger could be an evidence of love. Somebody tries to hurt my kids or my wife I’m going to get angry. That’s an appropriate response. There are some things that you ought to get angry about. I get angry about injustice in the world. I get angry about racism in the world. I get angry when people go to bed at night hungry while others have more than they possibly need.
Anger is an evidence of love. In fact, the only reason you are able to get angry is because you are made in God’s image, and the Bible says God gets angry. God has emotions, too, you know. That’s why you’re an emotional person. In fact, 375 times in the Bible it says God got angry, or Jesus got angry, or the Holy Spirit got angry. There are some things that are definitely wrong and we ought to be angry about them.
There’s a righteous anger and there’s unrighteous. There’s a right way and a wrong way. There’s an appropriate way and there’s an inappropriate way. Not all anger is sin. Selfish anger is sinful. Self-centered anger is sinful. Uncontrolled anger is sinful. But the Bible says that anger sometimes is an appropriate response. Sometimes it’s helpful.
But most of the time in our lives it’s harmful.
Proverbs 12:16 “A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted.”
It’s wise to just let it roll off your back. A wise person stays calm when insulted. The fact is, anger is a learned response. We learned it from other people. They may be bad examples, but we learned it from others. We learned it from television, we learned it from movies, we learned it from our parents, from other people in our life. The good news is since it’s learned it can be unlearned. You can learn appropriate ways to deal with your anger.