Being a Peacemaker This Christmas (Part 2)

December 6, 2023

What does it mean to become a peacemaker? This Christmas season

commit to becoming an agent of reconciliation in a world filled with

conflict. Become a bridge builder not a wall builder. 

If you missed part one of this blog series, CLICK HERE.

4. I LISTEN FOR THEIR HURT & PERSPECTIVE  

I listen for their hurt and their perspective.

How many times have you heard me say, “hurt people hurt people?”  

The people who need love the most are those who deserve it the least.

The people who are most obnoxious and irritating and you don’t want to

be around them, those are people who need massive doses of love. Hurt

people hurt people.   

If you want to connect with people you must start with their needs, their hurts and their interests.

James 1:19 “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”  

If we are quick to listen and we are slow to speak we will be slow to

get angry. God gave us two ears and one mouth. We should always listen

twice as much as you speak.

• Always listen before speaking.  

Always, always, always, always listen before speaking. This is the key to defusing conflict.  

5. I SPEAK THE TRUTH TACTFULLY!

Speak the truth tactfully. The truth sets us free, but we’ve got to

say it with love. We’ve got to say it with kindness. We’ve got to say it

with tact.

Many people proudly say, “I just tell it like it is!” That’s called being rude. Don’t be proud of that.

Ephesians 4:15 “Speak the truth in love.”  

The truth is not enough. It’s not just what we say; it’s how we say

it. If we say it offensively it will be received defensively. Truth

without love is resisted. Truth with love is received.

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t

use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and

helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear

them.

That’s one of the greatest verses on parenting we can ever learn. Or marriage or friendship. Don’t use harmful words.

6. I FIX THE PROBLEM, NOT THE BLAME

This is the sixth key to resolving conflict and restoring relationships.

Fix the problem not the blame. We need to learn to attack the issue, not each other.

The blame game is a waste of time. Stop fixing the blame and start

fixing the problem. You got a problem with finances in your marriage?

You got a problem with your in-laws? Stop fixing the blame and start

fixing the problem.

Finally the seventh step is…

7. I FOCUS ON RECONCILIATION, NOT RESOLUTION.

There’s a big difference. Reconciliation means reestablishing the

relationship. We’ve buried the hatchet. It doesn’t mean you’ll remarry

if it’s with an ex, it just means we’re at peace with each other. I’m

not holding onto any hurt, you’re not holding on to any hurt; we’ve

buried the hatchet. Reconciliation.

Resolution means we resolve every disagreement. And that isn’t going

to happen. Because the truth is, there are some things in our marriage,

our families and our friendships with other people, that we’re just

never going to agree on, because we’re all different.

But we can disagree without being disagreeable. That’s called

maturity. That’s called wisdom. We can walk hand in hand together

without seeing eye to eye.

If you focus on restoring your relationship, oftentimes the issue becomes insignificant.