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5 Truths For Christians Going Through Grief

valleyofgrief

Before we get into this blog, I wanted to point out that Christians go through times of grief, just like everybody else on this planet. Just because we have the hope of Jesus, doesn't mean we aren't allowed to grieve. Grief is actually a healthy response when something painful happens. 

But, because of Jesus, we grieve differently.
Because of Jesus, we have hope for the future.
Because of Jesus, we know sadness, loss and death are temporary.

But I know, this side of heaven, grief and pain doesn’t feel temporary. And, it’s okay not to be okay when you are walking through the valley of grief. Here are 5 truths about grief that will help you move forward, through the very real pain that you may feel.

FIVE FACTS ABOUT GRIEF

 1. GRIEF IS A CHOICE.

Loss is unavoidable but grief is choice. We have to choose to grieve. A lot of people choose not to. They stuff it. They deny it. They try to go through all of the losses of life without ever grieving. We have to choose to let grief in. We have to allow ourself to feel it. 

We have thousands of losses in our life. We can lose our health. We can lose our job. We can lose a friend. We can lose our finances. There are literally hundreds and even thousands of things that we have in life that we lose.  So, grief is not simply for whensomebody dies. That’s one of the things it’s for. But there are many other things in life we ought to grieve, because they’re losses in life. 

Because grief is unpleasant most people just try to avoid it. That is the cause of many of our problems – unresolved, unmourned grief. There are things that happened to us as a child, there are things that happened to us at school that we should have grievedover and we haven’t. And if we don’t grieve over it we get stuck at that stage. Grief is absolutely essential to our life.  

2. GRIEF IS HEALTHY.

It is healthy. In fact it is the only healthy response when we have a loss. Grief is actually healthy. It’s good for us. It’s the only healthy response to loss because it’s unhealthy to deny a loss.

Grief is without a doubt the most painful emotion we go through in life. It’s also the most helpful emotion. How is that? How is grief helpful to me?Grief is God’s tool for getting us through the transitions of life. If we don’t grieve in our losses we get stuck. And some of us are still stuck at age fourteen or age twenty-eight or age thirty-two,because we didn’t grieve a major loss in our life and we got stuck there. And we wonder why we have anxieties and we have phobias and we have fears and we have low self- esteem. 

Jesus never did anything wrong. He never sinned. He never did evil. Jesus never did anything unhealthy. Yet, Jesus grieved. The Bible says he was a man acquainted with sorrows. When his dear friend Lazarus died, the Bible says Jesus grieved. He cried. In fact, he sobbed.

John 11:33, 25-36 (NIV) “When Jesus saw her weeping, [Lazarus’ sister] and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved… Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” 

Sadness is not weakness. That is an American myth that sadness is weakness. There are two unhealthy reactions to loss and I wrote them there on your outline.  One is called repression and the other is called suppression.  

3. GOD GRIEVES WITH ME!

God grieves with me. In fact our whole ability to grieve actually comes from God. The only reason we have emotions is because God has emotions. We were created in the image of God, so God gave us the ability to have emotions.

Psalm 34:18 “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed.”

Maybe your heart was broken this week, maybe this month or maybe this year.  Or maybe it’s been broken for a long, long time. The Bible says God is close to the brokenhearted. When you think God is a million miles away and he’s nowhere to be found, guess what? He’s as close to you as he can get. You just need to tune in to him. The Bible tells us that grief is healthy and that God grieves with me.  

4. GRIEF IS HEALED IN COMMUNITY.

We’re not going to get well on our own. Nobody gets well on their own. We are bettertogether. We need each other. When God created man and he put him in the Gardenof Eden, he was living in a perfect environment. And yet God said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” God hates loneliness.  He made us to be in community, in relationship, to love God and to love each other. Whether we ever get married or notis irrelevant. We need people in our life. We need relationships. We need community.

Galatians 6:2, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”  

In other words, when you’re in pain I’m supposed to carry your pain. When I’m in painyou’re supposed to carry my pain. When either of us are in grief we’re to carry each other’s grief. We are to support each other.  

Romans 12:15 “Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.”  

Grief is healed in community. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. We share it with each other. That’s what we do in small groups.  

Grief is healed in community. Revealing your feeling is the beginning of healing. We share it with each other. That’s what we do in small groups.  

5. GRIEF TAKES TIME.

Grief takes time. Grief has its own timetable and you cannot rush it. People will ask,“Are you over it yet?” You don’t get over grief, you get through it. You will never getover the major losses in your life.  But you will get through the major losses in your life. Grief is not something you get over. It’s part of your life story. So don’t try to get overit; try to get through it. Because grief takes time.

Ecclesiastes 3:1, 4 “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.  4 A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance.” 

The Bible is saying is life is composed of opposites. We have good days and we have bad days. There’s a time to weep and there’s a time to rejoice. You don’t grow in the parties. You grow in the valleys. He says grief is a season. 

So grief is a choice.
And grief is healthy.
God grieves with us.
Grief is healed in community.
Grief takes time. 

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