Loving Difficult People

May 10, 2024

Ephesians 4:32 - “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

It’s easy to love people who love you back, or unselfish people. But, what about the difficult people in your life? The prickly ones? The draining people in your life? The hard-to-be-around people in your life?

Well, Jesus said in Luke 6:32, “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you?” 

Later in that same chapter, He challenged us, “But love your enemies, do good to them” (Luke 6:35). Learning how to love those who are hard to love requires both a choice and intentionality.

This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have healthy boundaries with toxic people. But, Jesus is clear that we are called to love everyone… even the difficult people in our life. We are called to be kind and compassionate and forgiving. You can still pray for someone with whom you have boundaries. You can still choose to respond calmly and kindly even to someone who is not giving you the same respect. But, it is hard.

Again, all of this is easy with the easy-to-love people. But, it’s nearly impossible to love hard-to-love people in your own strength.

So, how do you love difficult, selfish and unloving people?

You choose to allow Jesus to love them through you. You allow God’s love to do the work, because your human love is limited. that’s why we need God’s love in us, so we can then love others.

“We know and rely on the love God has for us.” (1 John 4:16a NIV).

When you realize how much God loves you — with an extravagant, unconditional love — then his love will change your entire focus on life. If we don’t receive God’s love for us, we’ll have a hard time loving other people. I’m talking about loving people who are unlovely, difficult, irritable, and those who are different or demanding.

You can’t do that until you have God’s love coming through you. You need to know God’s love so it can overflow out of your life into others.

(John 13:34-35) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

What are some ways you can show love to someone you find hard to love? Ask God to help you see that person with his eyes so that you can show him or her God’s love.