Why Should I Forgive?

For many people, the word forgiveness immediately brings to mind a face, a memory, or a painful moment they wish they could forget.

Maybe someone betrayed your trust. Maybe you were abandoned, lied to, rejected, or deeply wounded by someone who should have loved you. The pain is real, and because it's real, forgiveness can feel impossible.

You may wonder, "Why should I forgive someone who hurt me so deeply?"

Jesus answered that question in one of his most powerful stories—the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant in Matthew 18. In it, he gives us several reasons why forgiveness isn't just good for the person who wronged us—it's essential for our own hearts.

1. Because God Has Forgiven Me

The first reason we forgive is because we have been forgiven.

Ephesians 4:32 says, "Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

The more I understand how much God has forgiven me, the easier it becomes to extend grace to someone else. When I forget God's grace, I become stingy with my own. The truth is, you will never forgive anyone more than God has already forgiven you.

Now, does forgiveness mean pretending nothing happened? Absolutely not. Does it mean what they did was okay? No. Does it mean there shouldn't be consequences? Not at all. Does it mean you have to continue a relationship with a toxic person? No, it doesn't.

Forgiveness doesn't excuse the offense—it releases you from carrying it.

2. Because Resentment Doesn't Work

The second reason to forgive is simple: Resentment never accomplishes what we hope it will. In fact, it's self-destructive.

If anyone ever had a reason to become bitter, it was Job. He lost his wealth. He lost his children. He lost his health. He lost nearly everything he had. Yet in the middle of his suffering, Scripture reminds us: "Surely resentment destroys the fool." (Job 5:2)

Resentment has a way of convincing us we're hurting the other person, when in reality we're only hurting ourselves. Bitterness steals your joy. It robs your peace. It keeps old wounds fresh. Holding onto resentment is like grabbing a live electrical wire and expecting someone else to get shocked.

3. Because I'll Need Forgiveness Too

Forgiveness is a two-way street.

Jesus said, "If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14-15).

When we refuse to forgive, we're burning the very bridge we'll someday need to cross ourselves.

Over the years, I've talked with many people carrying deep wounds.

I've heard stories of betrayal, abuse, rejection, broken marriages, broken families, and unimaginable pain. Sometimes people tell me, "You just don't understand what they did to me." They're right—I probably don't. But God does.

He knows every tear you've cried.

He knows every injustice you've experienced.

He knows every scar you've carried.

Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it changes your future. When you hold onto hurt, you're allowing someone from your past to continue controlling your present.

God wants something better for you. He wants to heal your heart. He wants to replace bitterness with peace, anger with freedom, and resentment with hope.

Forgiveness may not happen all at once. Sometimes it's a decision you'll need to make over and over again.

But every time you choose forgiveness, you're taking one more step toward the freedom Christ wants for you.