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Communication in Marriage

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All of us know that communication is important to every relationship. If you want to make progress in your relationship, you have to learn how to talk with each other. We know from studies that have been done 85% of all marriage problems include some kind of communication breakdown. 

Communication is hard. Especially in our culture where the average person spends over 40 hours a week looking at a screen or electronic device, but the average couple spends 4 minutes a day in conversation. That’s a problem. One of the things we have to work on if we’re going to have a successful marriage is this whole issue of communication. We have to learn to put into practice good communication skills. We have to make it a priority. 

Ephesians 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

That’s a command to all Christians, but it certainly applies to our marriages. We have to learn the skill of good , healthy communication. 

We’ve all seen couples who before they ever get married. They talk to each other all the time. They spend hours on the phone or texting. They spend lots of effort in communication skills. But as the years go by, they talk less and less until you see them setting in the restaurant eating their meals in complete silence without any meaningful conversation. 

Part of the reason why is when we feel very familiar with someone, including our Heavenly Father, we tend to stop doing the things we did in the beginning to connect. We have to keep intentionally connecting and communicating. 

Let me give you one word of warning. Speak honestly and communicate the best you know how. Because one of the things that causes problems in our relationships is when we begin to speak in riddles or send hidden messages. Saying things like, “well, I shouldn’t have to tell you,” isn’t helpful to the overall relationship. 

When it comes to communication, we all have different styles. One of you might communicate in facts and the other communicates in emotions. We need to set aside time ideally every day where you just debrief, where you talk about what’s going on in your world, where you keep the relational connection. That begins with honest, authentic conversation when you do that.

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